why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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