I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
