I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize
