I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
