Soap is not a condiment
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
