are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
