After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
