They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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