her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
