Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
