At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
