what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
