For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
