i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
