I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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