now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
