I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she woke up with a sticky ear
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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