I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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