if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
