hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
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