alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
These tits shall not be calmed
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
