I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Randomize
