Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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