he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
