And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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