I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
