I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Damn victory sex feels great
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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