I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
