If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Sober January is a disaster.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
