Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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