Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
