it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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