This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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