apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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