This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
In other news, I just burned my penis
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
