so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
