i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
