You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
