I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
