You work out of a Hotel?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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