Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
