...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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