i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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