i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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