If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
