addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
