Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
