I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
