hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
