is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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