C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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