Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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